You know it's going to be a bad day when...

You wake up face down on the pavement.
You call Suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You see a 60 Minutes News Team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from last nights party - and there aren't any.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
You wake up to find that your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and YOU have a headache!