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              :              HOTLINE! - Number 2              :
              :       (c) 1987 by James A. Zachary, Jr.       :
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The telephone at the water and sewage department is often busy with calls from
customers concerned with public health matters...
 
RING!
 
>Southeast Treatment Plant, this is Zack...
 
\"Is this the water department?\"
 
>Yes Ma'am, for most of this area...
 
\"Good. I have some very technical questions to ask you about the water\"
 
>I'll try and help...
 
\"Why are my nipples getting so hard?\"
 
>You're not really serious...
 
\"I AM SO!! My nipples...  they're hard and they have this white coating on
them!\"
 
>Uhhhh, huh...  hard, uhhh, nipples with white, uhh...  stuff...
 
\"Not only that, they're getting warped!\"
 
>I see...
 
\"They used to be soft, pink and round!\"
 
>I'm sure they were...
 
\"Now they really look disgusting!\"
 
>I'm sure they do...
 
\"So I want to know what you're going to do about this!\"
 
>I really don't think I can help you. Have you discussed this with your
personal physician?
 
\"Yes I have! He said I should call you because he thought it was from the
water!\"
 
>I see...  uhhhh, just why and how does he think the water is causing this?
 
\"He said cleaning them in boiling water sometimes does that\"
 
>Sounds painful...  can't you just sponge them off?
 
\"Painful?! THE BABY BOTTLE NIPPLES ARE THE ONES I'M TALKING ABOUT!\"
 
>Now I understand...
 
\"Are you going to buy me new ones?\"
 
>Why would we do that?
 
\"Because your water ruined these. My baby won't suck them anymore. He's been sic
k and I think it's from the white stuff...  he used to really suck...\"
 
>May I ask how old your baby is?
 
\"He's six, going on seven\"
 
>Six...  and he refuses the bottle? Maybe he's getting a little old for the
bottle...
 
\"DON'T TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!\"
 
>I wasn't. How long have you been using these nipples?
 
\"Since he was born\"
 
>Hmmmmm.  My guess is the white film is from the calcium carbonate in the
water...  kind of like bathtub ring of the nipple...
 
\"AND?!\"
 
>... and they are hard and warped because of being boiled and bitten for six
years...
 
\"So! You are refusing to pay!>
 
>Well, that's not for me to decide. I was only trying to suggest they might
just be plain worn out.
 
\"THEY WOULDN'T BE WORN OUT IF YOUR WATER WAS ANY GOOD!\"
 
>There is really nothing more I can do for you...
 
\"JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY MONEY?\"
 
>Well, why not grab your nipples and run down to our main office. There you can
file an insurance claim...
 
\"What good would that do? Will they give me the money?\"
 
>They will investigate and make a judgement whether to settle or not...
 
\"Well, you sure haven't been any help! How do I get them to pay more attention
than you have?\"
 
>Just show them your nipples...