Data Processing Manager: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Talks with God on a first name basis.

Assistant Data Processing Manager: Leaps short buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a single switch engine. About as fast as a speeding BB pellet. Walks on water in calm seas. Talks with God.

Senior Systems Analyst: Catapults short buildings with favorable wind and running start. Almost as powerful as a switch engine. Just as fast as a rubber band. Walks on water on an indoor swimming pool. Talks to God if a special request is approved.

Systems Analyst: Barely clears a quonset hut. Loses a tug of war with a freight car. Can fire a speeding bullet. Can swim well. Is occasionally addressed by God if he makes mistakes.

Lead Programmer: Makes low marks on walls when trying to leap buildings. Is run over by locomotives. Can occasionally handle a gun without inflicting self-injury. Dog paddles, while slowly drowning. Talks to himself.

Senior Programmer: Runs into buildings. Recognizes locomotives two out of three times. Never given a weapon, due to danger. Can usually stay afloat in a boat. Mumbles to himself.

Maintence Programmer: Falls over doorstep when trying to enter a building. Says, “LOOK AT CHOO-CHOO!” Wets himself if given a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Talks to the animals (not that they understand him.)

Programmer: Lifts buildings and walks under them. Tows locomotives off of the tracks. Catches speeding artillery shells and has a picnic. Freezes water with a single glance. HE IS GOD!