====== You know it's going to be a bad day when... ======

  * You wake up face down on the pavement.
  * You call Suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
  * You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
  * You see a 60 Minutes News Team waiting in your office.
  * Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
  * Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
  * You want to put on the clothes you wore home from last nights party - and there aren't any.
  * You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
  * Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
  * You wake up to find that your waterbed broke and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
  * Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
  * Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and YOU have a headache!